Eugene Mirman

Shelves empty as Market Basket strike continues


Imagine if they struck for better wages and conditions instead of striking to reinstate an ousted “good capitalist” billionaire.

The bourgeois values of the working class are so mind-boggling. 

I bet if they were striking for better wages the news would not care and customers would be decrying the workers for being selfish. 



(Source: negatecity)

If Facebook Was A Guy


FACEBOOK: Hi, I’m Facebook.
ME: Nice to meet you, I’m Ryan.
FACEBOOK: What’s your last name? Where do you live? When were you born? What’s your phone number? Is that work or mobile? Can I have your work number too?
ME: Facebook, I just met you.
FACEBOOK: This is what friendship is to me.


ME: Hey, you know what’d be lots of fun? If we had a picnic!
FACEBOOK: Hey, you know what’d be lots of fun? If you told me the names of every single person you know!


FACEBOOK: Hey Ryan, do you know this person?
ME: That’s Sarah. I haven’t spoken to her for years.
FACEBOOK: Okay, here’s a shot of her bedroom and some pictures of her children as they sleep.


FACEBOOK: Hey Ryan, do you know this person?
ME: I… maybe? I may have seen him at a party.
FACEBOOK: He likes The Big Bang Theory. You wanna be friends, right?
ME: No.
FACEBOOK: I’ll ask you to be friends with him every time I see you again for the next six months.


FACEBOOK: Your friends went to the beach. Do you have any comments on these pictures of your friends at the beach?
ME: Huh?
FACEBOOK: I’m showing their swimsuit pictures to everyone. Do you like them? You can tell me if you like them. It’s fine if you like them.
ME: They’re… okay, I guess?
FACEBOOK: Okay, I just told them and everyone they know that you like their swimsuit pictures.


MY FRIEND STEVE: Hey, Facebook just said we’re not friends anymore? What the hell, Ryan?
ME: Huh?
FACEBOOK: Hah hah hah


NSA: Hey Facebook, what can you tell us about Ryan?
FACEBOOK: Age, interests, relationships, activities, where he was last night, what he looked like while he was there, the last five places he’s lived - what do you want?
NSA: That’ll be great, thanks. Do we need a warrant?
FACEBOOK: Nah, just make a fake account and friend someone who is friends with Ryan. That’s good enough for me!
NSA: Hah hah hah


FACEBOOK: Hey, did you know your aunt is racist?
ME: I… no?
FACEBOOK: Here’s something they wrote about “the foreigners”.
ME: Why would you think I’d want to see this?
FACEBOOK: Do you like what you see? You can tell me if you like it. It’s fine if you like it.


FACEBOOK: Hey, this corporation wants to engage with you.
ME: What? No.
FACEBOOK: They paid me money so you’re going to listen to them whether you want to or not.
CORPORATION: Hi, are you getting married? Do you want to buy diamonds? You mentioned diamonds earlier so you should buy our diamonds.
ME: I was talking about the James Bond movie, Diamonds Are Forever.
CORPORATION: We can sell you that too.
ME: Wait, how did you know I was talking about that in the first place?
FACEBOOK: Hah hah hah


ME: Facebook, I don’t want to be friends anymore. Forget everything I ever told you about myself.
ME: Facebook, did you delete everything?
FACEBOOK: I did. Sorry to see you go.
ME: …
ME: …Facebook, if I said I wanted to be friends again, what would you say?
FACEBOOK: Here’s all your old shit again! I never deleted anything!
FACEBOOK: Hah hah hah




im sorry but i only listen to real music


Only B.C. kids remember this

I feel like I was meant to be born in a different time, no so called “musician” these days even knows what hurriancore is.

metalshea: this gets pretty metal at like 1:50. Like, I’m not kidding about that. Motherfucker starts rockin’ the open low string like it’s goddamn proto-thrash.

thesubversivesound said: Hello mate, just interested in getting your views and opinions on a couple of things regarding the IRA. A lot of leftists on here and elsewhere, particularly americans across the pond seem to openly support and often fund the IRA and its offshoots as the orgnisation currently stands today. Do you think it is something people on the left, anarchists and socialists alike should be voicing their support for these days... considering there is a lot of controversy surrounding it.


Aye, well as you know mate, I don’t have to look across to america to see folk openly supporting and funding the IRA, it’s what I grew up around. I remember seeing my old man give money to them when they’d have whip rounds ‘for the provos’ on Celtic supporters busses when I was a wee boy in the eighties - we’re great at romanticising them in the west of scotland. 

It’s my opinion that anarchists shouldn’t be supporting the IRA as it exists now, or in the eighties for that matter, and the reasons for that are pretty obvious when you apply the slightest degree of critical thought to it. They set themselves up as an alternative police force who use brutal corporal punishment to keep “anti-social” elements in line. You can’t be an anarchist and support that. Don’t complain about police brutality and then support guys who shoot teenagers in the knees for stealing a car. If you genuinely believe that wounding poor people is the correct way to deal with crime, piss off and join some right wing militia group or something, that’s not our politics - we are the anti social elements. Shooting wee boys in the hands for being “anti-social” and then letting off bombs in shopping centres is not my idea of effective praxis if what you’re looking for is a unified working class capable of realising a social revolution.

For republican communities, the IRA were meant to be the army and police force, and Sinn Fein were the political party. Sinn Fein are a capitalist party who are currently implementing neoliberalism in NI. What’s to support there? Fuck all. It’s pretty clear that the order the IRA imposed on communities by fear and force was to be a capitalist order. The only real hope for working class people in Northern Ireland and everywhere else for that matter is in autonomous working class unity, and the IRA have hindered that cause more than they’ve helped it.

I think we should remember the struggle in Ireland as a class struggle, and I’ll happily sing songs about Irish history and stuff at the football, it’s good to remember that stuff, and to argue a class struggle perspective within working class left nationalists groups like our fellow Celtic fans etc - but as far as anarchist organising goes, there is absolutely no place for nationalist sentiment of any kind whatsoever. I wouldn’t so much as use a national flag for anything anarchist, it doesn’t fit. We are an anti-nationalist, internationalist movement. 

"If Whole Foods sells free-range eggs because it’s inhumane to keep hens in cages that rob them of their quality of life, it seems more than a little contradictory to then claim that exploiting the labor of caged humans who have been ripped from our communities and locked up by a barbarous criminal injustice system is “serving the community.”"

Prison to Table: The Other Side of the Whole Foods Experience (via mansplainedmarxist)


I’ve seen YouTube videos (Occupy Oakland, I think?) of people literally defending Whole Foods windows violently. As in, swinging sticks at folks in Bloc attire who were trying (unsuccessfully, as per usual) to bust Whole Foods windows with chairs and shit.

"Anarchists take an extreme anti-authoritarian position which fights for the abolition of all structures of domination and coercion such as the state, capitalism, white supremacy and patriarchy. Some anarchists extend this opposition to the foundations of civilization itself and others center their antagonisms on an anti-capitalist politics that rejects state power as a tool for liberation. Most anarchists seek forms of living and working together grounded in practices of self-organization, mutual aid, collective decision making and direct action that undermine hierarchical power structures. This almost always puts anarchists in direct opposition to professional activists and the nonprofit managers of movements."

Anarchy and the Anarchists (via ninjabikeslut)


Sing it Dolly


Sing it Dolly

(Source: memewhore, via pervocracy)